Issued in Public Interest.

So here I am after resigning from my new internship cum job after just two days! That's quite a feat. Screw you if you don't agree.

I would not go into much detail here but things didn't work out for me. I know I can't judge the work and its long term benefits from my mere two days of experience but I sure as hell can say that I wasn't a bit satisfied. Plus I was spending a lot of moolah for something that I didn't like. I am atleast a bit relieved that I quit before the company poured any resources or money on me. I am pretty sure that I have burnt my bridges and I have basically squashed any chance of getting future opportunities from the company. But it's okay. I may have worked my ass off (which I'd obviously do for my next job. No matter the type of work. I learnt a lesson. I had once chance and I spent it. So I gotta accept my next job the way it is, whether I like it or not). Alright so yeah, I would have worked my butt-cheeks off and put in all the efforts, and pulled off the job had I genuinely liked the work. And I'd not be doing justice to the opportunity if I cannot give my one hundred percent. Hell! I didn't like the job, I quit it. As simple as that. The whole world thinks I am an asshole, a fucking quitter for doing this. They think I owe them a freaking justification, a FUCKING PUBLIC APOLOGY!

I was supposed to feel satisfied if not elated after quitting the job. But the fucking justifications and explanations that I'll have to dish out to each person I meet for the next few weeks, and the barrage of questions that'll be aimed at me, are gonna  be more tiresome and frustrating than the job itself. It was my job, I quit it, and I'm responsible for whatever the hell happens to me after it (starvation and death prolly). My advice : make sure you tell as fewer folks as possible the next time you get a swanky job. Trust me, it'd save you a shitload of trouble when you finally decide to hang the boots and call it quits. It's fucking depressing. Nobody understands my position except my parents. It's not like a college course where you end up wasting an year if you quit. I can get a job which I'd enjoy. I've spent the last couple of years working really hard so that I can get a damn job which is satisfying even if it pays less. Why do people fail to understand that it's not the end of the world for me? And some folks are of the opinion that I should have stuck around and given it a few months but what's the damn point!? I chose the petroleum field for a reason. I'd have happily chosen the computer science course and college that I had gotten during the first round of engineering admissions if my only motive was to "stick around" and do the job just for the sake of doing it. Our entire society is a mere jerkwater joke. Yes, I am stereotyping and I don't give a damn!

So, consider this as my justification to the nosy junta, a "public apology". I am gonna just shove it in anyone's face who asks me for an explanation now because I'm dead tired of blabbering the same shit again and again. Hell! I can even post it on Facebook and send it as an email attachment to these folks. I am just gonna be a hermit for the next few days. Better stay off the radar and avoid the turds. That's it. Enough ranting.

Issued in public interest by Shashank Ukhalkar.

A new beginning?

     Probably my last blog post before I start working. I am not sure if'll get the time and leisure to write blog posts when I start working. I don't really have a topic for this post. It usually takes me several minutes, if not hours, to come up with a title for the posts. But the title here, well it just flashed write across my eyes the moment I decided to write. But again, I'm not sure what I'll be writing about. My first spontaneous post. Let's see what's been cooking in my mind. Let it all ooze out.

     So, work. A month and I'll be done with my studies, with my Masters. Time freaking flies when you're having a good time. It flies when you're having a bad time too, trust me. Nobody deserves bad times. But I think you need them to appreciate and relish the good times. Ah, it's a fucking paradox. Know what I just realized? there's nothing like good times. There are just bad times and not so bad times. The bad times make the not so bad times look less bad. Too much badness. Uncertainty looms over the future.. Hell, nothing is certain in life. Yet we plan, we always do. I do not even know if I'll be getting a job. Burnt enough holes in my parents' pockets. Not anymore. But how am I gonna do it? Topped the class? yeah I did but it's not fucking taking me anywhere.Wonder what I'm gonna do to kill the time if I do not get hired even after studying incessantly for the past 17-18 years :P. Gonna be tough. I do not wanna wallow in depression. It's shit. Hollows you. Silent killer. Gonna turn 23 this month and I'm still latched to them like a darn parasite. Too much negativity for the masses.

     Equal possibility that I'll get a job right away. Life'll be set and mom'll be so happy. Can totally imagine her going nuts and hugging me. We've already made plans. I'll be taking her to Chile with me for a vacation. She and my father have worked hard all their lives. They've loved us (me any my brother) so much but the stupid teenage years hinder rational thinking. Overlooked and took for granted all their sacrifices and unconditional love. Not anymore. The time away from home has made me a better person.  Let's hope I get a  job so everything starts falling into place. Shouldn't doubt my abilities.

     Made some really good friends during my time here. The friendship's gonna last a lifetime. They supported me through thick and thin. The first year was a bit difficult. Had to adjust to a new city, new people, new assholes, the academics blah blah. But I somehow did it! Would have become super tough without my brother's support. It's time to repay now. I really should start sketching again. It's gratifying. All arts are. But time is a big constraint. Have heaps of literature and study material to read but time! I'm active and up and running most of the times but there of course are times when I'm almost as lazy as a sloth. 

     My hate for people is real strong. I feel like sucker punching almost half the folks I meet or deal with on a daily basis. Managed to effectively control the urge so far. Too coward to pull anything of that sort haha. To all the lonely peeps,  go watch "After Life". It's absofuckinglutely beautiful. Ricky Gervais is a class act. 

     I always wonder why people hate rock and metal so much? Why is it always associated with devil? These two genres are a thousand times better than all the oohs and aahs and the butt flashing twerking ladies from them modern pop. The society's screwed in my opinion. Too flashy and pretentious and maybe that's why I hate everything mainstream. Instantly associate it with the pretentious bastards. I wish I find someone, a friend, a girlfriend, who appreciates rock music and the culture. You won't believe but the tracks have so much feeling. The lyrics are so deep. They hit hard. The artists, true geniuses! Underappreciated indeed. Just remembered a funny incident. I trashed a guy on the streets a few years back for spitting and littering but he hit back so bad that it shut me up instantly. Never raised a voice against any fucking spitting and littering faggots after the incident. Guess I gotta build some muscles so that I look intimidating. Wont spare them assholes.

    Alright it seems someone closed my mind's valve cause I can't t think of anything now. Well it's late and I'm dead tired. So I better leave it here and continue it some other day when I get some respite. Until then, cheers!

Rusty Truck (or Wet Sand? I'm confused)

                Interesting name for a blog post, isn't it? I'm obsessed with pickup trucks. Especially the diesel guzzling 90's "rusty" stick shift trucks. There's something about these trucks, probably the aggressiveness and the coolness associated with them, that makes them stand out from the bazillion other automobiles out there on the streets. Pity we have a scarce supply of these mean machines and don't get to see them much on our Indian streets.
                This post isn't about trucks. Neither is it about their feeble presence on our streets. This post is about a person who made a difference in my life. Lemme get straight to the story. Some people are like a breath of fresh air in a putrid stinky crapper. My stinky crapper of a life got its share of fresh air last year when I bumped into her on a social game on Facebook. The game allows the players to create an avatar and roam around and do weird jobs and interact with fellow players in the virtual world. A kind of a getaway from the perils of the real world. Being an introvert jitterbug afraid to face the problems of the real world, I was a regular to the game, logging in almost everyday. I'd just log in and stand in a corner on the virtual streets and wait for at least one person from the herd to notice me and speak to me. I was lonely, and I desperately needed someone to talk to. Over the years, I had made a few buddies in the game but I don't easily connect with people and so the conversations used to be limited. (I'm an eccentric bozo who gets carried away a bit too much when speaking about heavy metal/rock music and my other interests, often forgetting that people aren't a least bit interested in listening me gibber about all these things. And I hate everything mainstream and people love everything mainstream. Get my point? Call me socially repellent or a misfit if you wish but I legit find it hard to fit in) So yeah, where was I? ah, so she spotted me in the rabble. And we just clicked! She thought I had an attitude problem at first but she started showing interest as time passed, often following me and dropping by at my in-game dwelling (yeah I even had a nice suburb home in the game. Sounds stupid, I know😆😵). Time passed and we began to speak more and more each day. She said she was from Down Under, I believed it. Believed everything she said, why shouldn't I?. I was smitten. She was too sweet. She understood me better than anyone had in a long time (Parents always do but I can't share all the things with parents, can I? it's really awkward). She didn't lie. She indeed lived there amongst the joeys and the jills and the boomers. She was a nurse by profession and I think that's what made her so compassionate and understanding. Had the patience to listen to me rant and complain about almost every other thing in the universe. Guess what? I fell for her and we began talking every freaking day (doesn't take much to make me fall in love haha). Pure hearts sure aren't easy to find these days. I even told her about my dream of owning a "rusty pickup" and living in the desert in a shack or a cabin, Mojave to be specific, and soak in the view of  the setting sun from the beat up bed of my pickup every evening (told ya I'm eccentric). Out of all the peeps who know about my dream, she's the only one who thought it was awesome. Although reluctant at first, we eventually took it off the game and began speaking off the game and lo, she could sing so well! I thought I had found my love. I didn't need anything else.
                     But bloody circumstances, you know. Things never work out the way you want them to and naturally, didn't work in my case as well. So, here I was, again left alone in my rusty pickup dream. It hurt. Sharp needles piercing the heart. Safe to say she's one of the best persons I've ever known. Inspired me in ways unimaginable. She's now like a mentor, inspiring me to keep pushing and waddling in spite of all the hurdles in the path. Sort of  a guardian angel I'd say.  However ridiculous it sounds but we've never met and I don't even know how she looks like in real life. I adore and respect her. You can't really decide who you'll meet or come across in your life and how big of a difference that person will make. It's all written somewhere. Fate is at play. She indeed left a lasting impression. Everlasting. All you can do is embrace every person you meet on this one of a kind wild roller coaster ride called life. There's something good to learn and take from every person you meet, even if the person does you more harm than good, even from an asshole who looks down upon you. Hell, even from a mofo who tries to jack your ride (don't dare ask me how. why'd I even write it? 😂). I don't think I'll ever be able to forget her. And to be honest, I don't wanna forget her. Like a footprint in wet sand. A footprint that reminds me of all the good things that the world has to offer. Did I just write wet sand? ah, reminds me of this sweet track by the RHCP. Gonna attach a link at the end. Fitting track for this post. Mere coincidence. Check it out if you wish. Cheers.

RHCP: Wet Sand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oabjND9QW8Q