Rusty Truck (or Wet Sand? I'm confused)

                Interesting name for a blog post, isn't it? I'm obsessed with pickup trucks. Especially the diesel guzzling 90's "rusty" stick shift trucks. There's something about these trucks, probably the aggressiveness and the coolness associated with them, that makes them stand out from the bazillion other automobiles out there on the streets. Pity we have a scarce supply of these mean machines and don't get to see them much on our Indian streets.
                This post isn't about trucks. Neither is it about their feeble presence on our streets. This post is about a person who made a difference in my life. Lemme get straight to the story. Some people are like a breath of fresh air in a putrid stinky crapper. My stinky crapper of a life got its share of fresh air last year when I bumped into her on a social game on Facebook. The game allows the players to create an avatar and roam around and do weird jobs and interact with fellow players in the virtual world. A kind of a getaway from the perils of the real world. Being an introvert jitterbug afraid to face the problems of the real world, I was a regular to the game, logging in almost everyday. I'd just log in and stand in a corner on the virtual streets and wait for at least one person from the herd to notice me and speak to me. I was lonely, and I desperately needed someone to talk to. Over the years, I had made a few buddies in the game but I don't easily connect with people and so the conversations used to be limited. (I'm an eccentric bozo who gets carried away a bit too much when speaking about heavy metal/rock music and my other interests, often forgetting that people aren't a least bit interested in listening me gibber about all these things. And I hate everything mainstream and people love everything mainstream. Get my point? Call me socially repellent or a misfit if you wish but I legit find it hard to fit in) So yeah, where was I? ah, so she spotted me in the rabble. And we just clicked! She thought I had an attitude problem at first but she started showing interest as time passed, often following me and dropping by at my in-game dwelling (yeah I even had a nice suburb home in the game. Sounds stupid, I know😆😵). Time passed and we began to speak more and more each day. She said she was from Down Under, I believed it. Believed everything she said, why shouldn't I?. I was smitten. She was too sweet. She understood me better than anyone had in a long time (Parents always do but I can't share all the things with parents, can I? it's really awkward). She didn't lie. She indeed lived there amongst the joeys and the jills and the boomers. She was a nurse by profession and I think that's what made her so compassionate and understanding. Had the patience to listen to me rant and complain about almost every other thing in the universe. Guess what? I fell for her and we began talking every freaking day (doesn't take much to make me fall in love haha). Pure hearts sure aren't easy to find these days. I even told her about my dream of owning a "rusty pickup" and living in the desert in a shack or a cabin, Mojave to be specific, and soak in the view of  the setting sun from the beat up bed of my pickup every evening (told ya I'm eccentric). Out of all the peeps who know about my dream, she's the only one who thought it was awesome. Although reluctant at first, we eventually took it off the game and began speaking off the game and lo, she could sing so well! I thought I had found my love. I didn't need anything else.
                     But bloody circumstances, you know. Things never work out the way you want them to and naturally, didn't work in my case as well. So, here I was, again left alone in my rusty pickup dream. It hurt. Sharp needles piercing the heart. Safe to say she's one of the best persons I've ever known. Inspired me in ways unimaginable. She's now like a mentor, inspiring me to keep pushing and waddling in spite of all the hurdles in the path. Sort of  a guardian angel I'd say.  However ridiculous it sounds but we've never met and I don't even know how she looks like in real life. I adore and respect her. You can't really decide who you'll meet or come across in your life and how big of a difference that person will make. It's all written somewhere. Fate is at play. She indeed left a lasting impression. Everlasting. All you can do is embrace every person you meet on this one of a kind wild roller coaster ride called life. There's something good to learn and take from every person you meet, even if the person does you more harm than good, even from an asshole who looks down upon you. Hell, even from a mofo who tries to jack your ride (don't dare ask me how. why'd I even write it? 😂). I don't think I'll ever be able to forget her. And to be honest, I don't wanna forget her. Like a footprint in wet sand. A footprint that reminds me of all the good things that the world has to offer. Did I just write wet sand? ah, reminds me of this sweet track by the RHCP. Gonna attach a link at the end. Fitting track for this post. Mere coincidence. Check it out if you wish. Cheers.

RHCP: Wet Sand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oabjND9QW8Q

"Millions of lemons, lemons for me..."

                               First things first, I stole the title from this really peppy and mellow POTUSA jam, "Peaches". Life's been handing me lemons on all fronts for quite some time now. Mind you, I get the lemons by the truckload. "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"- That's the god sent line the mainstream media, supplemented by the pop culture, is trying to shove down our throats. Had it been that simple, nobody in this godforsaken world would ever feel desolated and disappointed. Now I'm pretty sure you know the ground truth. Long term stress, despair and loneliness pave the way for this sneaky bastard we identify as "depression".  According to the fancy WHO statistics, more than "300 million people of all ages suffer from depression". Now that's a big chunk of the global population yet I actually believe the statistics are flawed and underestimated and the actual figures are much greater. 

                             Anyway, back to our sour lemons. Ever wondered why you work your ass off day in day out, try to be good to people, do what's expected, be responsible and still nothing works and you get shit? you still get treated like dirt by the folks you look up to and the folks you are trying to impress? You look at their happy faces and their vibrant lives and ask why you and why not them? I always wonder and to be honest, I still don't have it figured. I know how miserable it feels when all your good deeds slip past them unnoticed, unappreciated, and nothing you do seems good enough. The result; old friendships and bonds evaporate, you become a recluse, a loner and avoid all sorts of social interactions and confrontations. The sour lemons manifest themselves into loneliness and slowly and quietly and gradually into depression. You sob at the drop of a hat and the slightest of things trigger your overflowing emotions. My suggestion, cry it out. Cry as much as you want. It is always better if you have a shoulder to cry on and a good ear to listen to your woes. Unfortunately, I've had neither (Poor me! lol 😅😀). The world is full of assholes and it's absolutely not your job to keep each one of them happy. You can have all the things in the world and still feel deeply unhappy. Want to know what I've started doing lately? I've started looking for happiness in little things. The things which we often overlook. Often happens that I'm at a traffic signal at a junction and I see a bunch of poor drifter kids by the roadside having a merry time. Their scrawny cheeks creased and stretched out in smiles and grins. Their madres looking at them like they're the best thing in the world. It instantly lifts my spirits and my frown cracks into a smile in no time (of course I feel bad for the kids and the hardships they endure). Albeit when nothing works, it's always good to treat yourself to some booze and get wasted :P.

                            Now I'm no expert on human psychology or depression or even the freaking lemons for that matter, but the only solution that seems to nullify the sourness of all these lemons is keeping yourself busy. Keep yourself immersed in work, hobbies and stuff or in anything that you love. Don't let your mind wander and think of all the shit that life's been hurling at you. It always works for me. I have my down times and I don't feel like doing a thing at times but I push myself and get things done. Channel all your rage and your surging emotions into something creative and fulfilling. Keep waddling and soon, the lemons will disappear! Adios!

A Silver Lining?

                           Well, it is my very first time writing a blog post and I spent a shitload of time adding funky colors and decorations to my blog. Anyway, the title probably hints at something positive. I'm not a happy-go-lucky kind of a person and I have my own worries. But I believe the random acts of kindness, by people, by me, in this cruel and unjust world are nothing but a silver lining in the dark "stratus" clouds, a ray of hope. ("Stratus"?? I'm tryna look smart here haha)

                            My daily commute to the college by the city bus has given me an opportunity to experience an array of human behaviors and emotions. I see new faces every single day. Most of the people I meet everyday are straight away mean and selfish. Always ready for a quarrel and a scuffle. I overhear their conversations sometimes. Their whole world revolves around a single entity, ' I '. These stupid fags souls refuse to offer and leave their seats even for the oldies. We Indians, seriously lack compassion. I know it is not right to group a billion people under a single freaking banner but we're just not ready to help others. I believe there are 8 bad people for every 2 good people in our country (just my opinion. I have not researched the fact and I don't know if I'm right or wrong). Our own well-being and comfort are of prime importance to us and we don't give a damn about our fellow commoners as long as we are fine and comfortable. We do not even think twice before using other people for our own gains. Honoring trust and commitment is rare. The media (to a certain extent) and our very own Bollywood have long portrayed us as a bunch of jolly, helpful and carefree people. Personally, I think it's all rubbish. We're nowhere close to how we are portrayed. Without these rose-tinted glasses, we're a sad, struggling, overworked horde of selfish people (at least the current generation is. The previous generations? I don't know. I wasn't alive then. My parents are good people so I think the last generation was a bit better than our generation). Who's to blame? The cut-throat  competition that we face almost from our kindergarten days to our deathbed seems to have killed all our kindness and compassion. The population explosion, the struggle of the middle class and the poor alike, for a better living (the concentration of wealth in the hands of only a small percentage of population is to be blamed. It's a completely different topic and I won't talk about it anymore) and the meager amount of resources to be shared amongst a humongous population add fuel to the fire. Enough of complaining, I guess.

                            Random simple acts of kindness go a long way in helping douse the flame of hate. People need to realize that kindness still exists and that it is not completely lost. They'll have to dig deeper into their souls to find this flickering flame of kindness (ahh a bit too melodramatic!). One of my professors, who happens to be a guest faculty at our college, is a true gentleman and one of the finest human beings I have ever met. He has a thorough realization and insight of what is wrong with people and the world. He is one of the kindest souls and I doubt he'd ever hesitate to help anyone. That's the kind of people we desperately need in our society.  If you cannot help, at least be gentle? soft-spoken? Why always be grumpy? You have problems, I have problems. Who doesn't have problems? The joy I get after helping someone is unparalleled. I think it is about time we get off our high horses, shrug off the false pride and care for each other and make this country, a better place to live and thrive. 

                           Phew! 😌